The safety of rejecting life’s requests -it was an important milestone to reach on her journey.
She had always craved a love like that from herself, but it would always resist sitting comfortably in her body.
The hands that were always quick to reach out and work had to be taught to hold her too.
And only her at times.
Her legs were often called to walk to the ends of the earth for survival. It was time to teach these legs to stand still for her.
To be her anchor so that she could ground herself. Because sometimes she doesn’t want to move, and shouldn’t be forced to.
She had to make her heart trust her when she said it was not wrong to avoid showing up for people and things sometimes.
This heart had to learn that there are other things to hold when saying “no” besides guilt. There is also peace.
She taught her tongue how to move in the direction that said yes to her. Her voice had to be counselled for this,
so that there was no quiver or shake.
Her back and shoulders had to be commanded to stop setting comfortable spaces for the world to sit on.
Because she’s been so tired and finally wants to stand straight and walk light.
She always tried to choose herself,
but her body didn’t know how to perform a love that was reserved for her only.
What good is your yes to everyone else when you feel sick saying it?
How do you deliver life to the world when your limbs are tired?
How true is the tongue that shares words of light if it has never tasted and swallowed them?
How is your love safe when you share it with tears that fall from sore eyes?
How nurturing can your body be when it can’t hold the languages of love for itself?
Her body had to go back and finally remember its own love.