Your guides are not a complaints centre and should never be treated as such. However, expressing dissatisfaction to them can be an act of service unto yourself, and it can ignite the shifts you need to progress.

Here is a scenario: You love your guides. They have blessed you immensely and you genuinely appreciate this; but somewhere down the line your life takes a sour turn and you can’t help but wonder why they are not stepping in to save you. You avoid raising your concern because you don’t want to come across as ungrateful or disrespectful. 

Here is another scenario: You yearn for a good relationship with your guides, but it feels like they have never really shown up for you. You don’t want to be offensive or disrespectful to them, so you choose not to confront them about the neglect. 

In both these scenarios, there is discomfort with expressing the lack and unhappiness that riddles your life. There is even bigger discomfort with confronting your spiritual guardians about this.

So what should you do? Get over yourself and confront them!

Nag them.

Cry to them.

Submit your complaint.

To avoid complaining emsamo, in an attempt to maintain peace (and perhaps favour) is futile because the unhappiness is already living in your energy. You are possibly making things worse for yourself by insisting that you will not dare take that conversation to your alter. The most important alters – your body and soul – are carrying it either way. The progressive thing to do is resolve it by openly confessing to yourself and them that there is unhappiness in you.

Notice that I say “confessing to yourself” as well? I say this because what we struggle to communicate with our guides, for whatever the reason our minds may hold, is often a symptom of us struggling to accept or face that circumstance ourselves. You may translate it as choosing peace and faith when what is really happening is that you are running away from yourself and the circumstance. Most of what we do AND don’t do with our spiritual guardians is a mirror of how we are showing up TO ourselves.

Complaining has its valid place; it is one of the ways to resolve issues. It’s near impossible to resolve something that you are not allowing yourself to look at and feel through. In submitting a complaint about anything, you are looking at that thing. You are openly saying: “This is a disruption/pain in my life.”

As with anything that you may express with your speech or actions, bringing that dissatisfaction forward in an honest way, creates motion. This is how space begins to open inside of you to receive and see the way forward. Your vision is granted the opportunity to explore possible solutions when you speak on an issue that has been a growing fog in your life. Your guides may then finally have a path through which they can send you direction, and you will be in a better position to intuitively notice their signs.

This is ultimately what complaining has the power to do – cause shifts. Complaining is a tool to create with.  Bathi ukukhala akusizi. Well, today I am saying to you that ngesinye is’khathi, ukukhala iyona kuphela into ezosiza. It is a form of surrender.

We usually frown upon complaining as a society, and shy away from it too. But you must remember that your guides do not look at you through society’s gaze – they have a far deeper view of you.

It’s also important to understand that complaining is not just an act of arrogance and ungratefulness. The place that you are complaining from inside of you is what ultimately counts. It is that place that influences the kind of response you will receive.

If you ground your complaint, you can look at it fairly and express your dissatisfaction from a place of wisdom that will propel and inspire progressive movement. Spitting your complaint out with rage may not be as progressive, nor will it land nicely to the guides you are bringing your complaint to. More importantly, all rage may do is close you up even more. Ground your complaint so that the case you are bringing forward serves you.

Another reason why it is necessary to complain is that; this is ultimately still your life. It is your responsibility to fetch what you know and feel you deserve. You cannot always have passive faith, there are times when your faith must go on a chase. We complain because we believe that we deserve something better and more than what we may be getting. To complain is to make that belief clear to yourself, guides and the universe overall. Sometimes you must indeed be assertive to call in and create the reality that you desire and need.

Someone may say: “…but they can see what is troubling me.”  Yes of course they can, and they saw it long before it even manifested. But how can the guides move for you and with you if you have not started to move for yourself? The movement of iDlozi lakho, and your universe as a whole, is largely fueled by the movement of your will and energy. This becomes the effect of your cause. When you complain, uyasukuma.

So, what is your cause? Ground it and take it to them.

  1. I had a point in my life where it felt childish for me to even feel the need to nag to them, because I thought they already do so much without me needing to ask. The circumstances they were able to help me guide why kusuka ukukhala lokho in the first place, as this was a tension, pain, or the reminder of my need for water (cleansing/s) inside of me that needed to be nourished.

    Many people probably struggle the most with openly being expressive in a manner that does not have to impose any negative connotations to the next person, as the same people they may be relaying this to might not comprehend how they react/respond to the next person’s perception when viewed with – not against – their own. Our minds can only find the balance they know through all our expressions being carried across, thus the alter can always handle US as we are.

    Man, I’m a serial crier, now imagine iChibi elisaphalalayo ngenxa yenzintlungu, and on top of that trying to keep it away from eMsamo


  2. I am so grateful to have came across this post. I recently had a reading with a Traditional healer and when he was trying to connect with my Ancestors, it seemed like they were not standing up for me. That hurt me so much. I am on a journey of learning how to nurture a relationship with them and the fact that most didn’t show up really hurt me. I couldn’t even admit the hurt to myself as I didn’t want to seem ungrateful, so I have been keeping it inside. Thank you for this post.

    1. Camagu.

      Thank you for sharing Minah. Not all of our ancestors stand up for us and not all of them are good. Make it clear in your connecting that you are calling upon the ones of light. Make it clear with your speech who of them you need and pour out to them. You can cast light on your connecting by praying first. Some don’t show up in consultations because they need you to make an effort in engaging directly. There are always guides available to support you, you need to channel light intentionally to reach and feel the ones that are for you.

      I hope things get better.

  3. Thank you for the article. I think it’s harder to move into this space when you know there things you haven’t done for them which they required so you start linking your problems to it and thinking maybe this is why you are suffering.You start thinking why nag then when you haven’t done A,B,C. But it gets tricky cause the thing you require at the time is the exact same thing that will unlock the possibilities of doing what they require. Ukuthi ukukhala kuvele kukunike isibuko sazo zonke lezizinto you have failed to do and end up feeling inehlazo nesbindi to even complain .I actually appreciate and loved this read for that .

    1. Thokozani

      Wow, I’m grateful that you shared this scenario – it is actually so important to note that some people may carry shame/guilt because of THAT. I’m even more grateful that you identified how inkulumo yeskhalo is still valid even in that instance. Siyabonga for engaging so thoughtfully.

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